Teh Tarik and the Corruption Perceptions Index

When I saw the picture of Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak and Opposition Leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim sipping teh tarik in the Backbenchers' Lounge of Parliament House recently, I knew why Malaysia is now merrily ensconced in the 56th spot of Transparency International's Corruption Perceptions Index (CPI).

Teh Tarik is after all Malaysia's de facto national drink and the front-page story of the two leaders having their cuppa- politics aside - serves as an unofficial endorsement of the status of the drink in our lifestyle.

Now, how can our leaders be expected to distinguish themselves or make healthy decisions if they make this frothy muddy mix their habitual drink considering the fact that it contains about "six teaspoons of sugar in less than 350 ml"? Not my words, but the findings of Consumers Association of Penang (CAP).

No wonder about 15% of Malaysians over 30 years old suffer from diabetes!

In Malaysia, our teh tarik kaki legislators even make sugar a staple food and a controlled item like rice and cooking oil. CAP president SM Mohamed Idris probably hit the nail on the head when he said tongue-in-cheek that "a sugar shortage is considered a national crisis". Sugar, as we know, has no nutrients, and Idris said that it was linked to over 60 ailments such as cancer, diabetes, obesity, heart problems, osteoporosis, kidney problems and allergies.

Now, you have it. Besides the sugar-induced CPI, I believe teh tarik is probably linked to many other ailments and social ills that are currently plaguing our society.

Perhaps our legislators should introduce a 1Malaysia cocktail of Teh Sabah, daun pegaga(Hydrocotyle or Centella Asiatica) and lemon grass with a dash of Sarawak pepper to give it that extra oomph. This should improve the overall health of the country - socially, politically and economically- and make us the envy of all nations.

Fuyoh!!!

Number Junkies

Malaysian politicians could well learn a useful lesson about the 1Malaysia concept from the many betting shops that dot almost every town and city in our country. Step into any of these shops run by Magnum, TOTO or Pan Malaysia Pools, you’ll see what I mean : number junkies of diverse social, economic, political and religious backgrounds converge at these kedai nombor ekor betting on their hopes three times a week. They speak the same lingo-money. And they have one common aim : to win money.

Ask any number junkie you know, they’ll have some stories to share with you about winning and losing – mostly about winning, of course. Here are a few stories from real winners:

“One morning, I got up and I found an egg under my car. I bought my car number and won first prize.”

“I was taking a walk in the evening when I came across a security pass lying on a kerb. I picked it up and it turned out that the pass belonged to someone I know. I betted on the number on the pass and I won.”

“I was holding the baby and it kept crying and pointing in the direction of a box in the living room. The box had a four digit number on it. The number won me third prize.”

“I went to a TOTO shop and I had no idea what number I was going to buy. I betted $10.00 on a 6-D number I saw on a box in the shop and I won a million.”

Here’s a near-miss story:

“Aunty sold her old jalopy and bought a new used car. She betted on the old car number for two consecutive draws. When she stopped, her number came up third prize.”
Here’s one lucky winner who never stops winning:

“A few years ago, I was driving a pick-up and it plunged more than 20 feet into a ravine. Thank god, I survived. That evening a friend persuaded me to go with him to see a Chinese medium. I had no intention of seeing the medium, but when I got there the medium called me over. Astonishingly, he somehow ‘knew’ about my accident and even said that the deity (Tua Pek Kong) with the long white beard in my house had saved me. He added that I didn’t have to ask him for any numbers because from then onwards I’d be blessed with winning numbers.”

There are countless other stories about winning and losing in this numbers’ game and they range from the pedestrian to the bizarre or supernatural. But one thing is for sure: the odds are always against the better. And there are more losers than winners.

On second thoughts, perhaps this is not the 1Malaysia that the country needs, where the majority are losers. We should instead aim to be a country where everyone is a winner. Then, it’ll truly be 1Malaysia.

Selamat Hari Merdeka!