Teh Tarik and the Corruption Perceptions Index

When I saw the picture of Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak and Opposition Leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim sipping teh tarik in the Backbenchers' Lounge of Parliament House recently, I knew why Malaysia is now merrily ensconced in the 56th spot of Transparency International's Corruption Perceptions Index (CPI).

Teh Tarik is after all Malaysia's de facto national drink and the front-page story of the two leaders having their cuppa- politics aside - serves as an unofficial endorsement of the status of the drink in our lifestyle.

Now, how can our leaders be expected to distinguish themselves or make healthy decisions if they make this frothy muddy mix their habitual drink considering the fact that it contains about "six teaspoons of sugar in less than 350 ml"? Not my words, but the findings of Consumers Association of Penang (CAP).

No wonder about 15% of Malaysians over 30 years old suffer from diabetes!

In Malaysia, our teh tarik kaki legislators even make sugar a staple food and a controlled item like rice and cooking oil. CAP president SM Mohamed Idris probably hit the nail on the head when he said tongue-in-cheek that "a sugar shortage is considered a national crisis". Sugar, as we know, has no nutrients, and Idris said that it was linked to over 60 ailments such as cancer, diabetes, obesity, heart problems, osteoporosis, kidney problems and allergies.

Now, you have it. Besides the sugar-induced CPI, I believe teh tarik is probably linked to many other ailments and social ills that are currently plaguing our society.

Perhaps our legislators should introduce a 1Malaysia cocktail of Teh Sabah, daun pegaga(Hydrocotyle or Centella Asiatica) and lemon grass with a dash of Sarawak pepper to give it that extra oomph. This should improve the overall health of the country - socially, politically and economically- and make us the envy of all nations.

Fuyoh!!!

Number Junkies

Malaysian politicians could well learn a useful lesson about the 1Malaysia concept from the many betting shops that dot almost every town and city in our country. Step into any of these shops run by Magnum, TOTO or Pan Malaysia Pools, you’ll see what I mean : number junkies of diverse social, economic, political and religious backgrounds converge at these kedai nombor ekor betting on their hopes three times a week. They speak the same lingo-money. And they have one common aim : to win money.

Ask any number junkie you know, they’ll have some stories to share with you about winning and losing – mostly about winning, of course. Here are a few stories from real winners:

“One morning, I got up and I found an egg under my car. I bought my car number and won first prize.”

“I was taking a walk in the evening when I came across a security pass lying on a kerb. I picked it up and it turned out that the pass belonged to someone I know. I betted on the number on the pass and I won.”

“I was holding the baby and it kept crying and pointing in the direction of a box in the living room. The box had a four digit number on it. The number won me third prize.”

“I went to a TOTO shop and I had no idea what number I was going to buy. I betted $10.00 on a 6-D number I saw on a box in the shop and I won a million.”

Here’s a near-miss story:

“Aunty sold her old jalopy and bought a new used car. She betted on the old car number for two consecutive draws. When she stopped, her number came up third prize.”
Here’s one lucky winner who never stops winning:

“A few years ago, I was driving a pick-up and it plunged more than 20 feet into a ravine. Thank god, I survived. That evening a friend persuaded me to go with him to see a Chinese medium. I had no intention of seeing the medium, but when I got there the medium called me over. Astonishingly, he somehow ‘knew’ about my accident and even said that the deity (Tua Pek Kong) with the long white beard in my house had saved me. He added that I didn’t have to ask him for any numbers because from then onwards I’d be blessed with winning numbers.”

There are countless other stories about winning and losing in this numbers’ game and they range from the pedestrian to the bizarre or supernatural. But one thing is for sure: the odds are always against the better. And there are more losers than winners.

On second thoughts, perhaps this is not the 1Malaysia that the country needs, where the majority are losers. We should instead aim to be a country where everyone is a winner. Then, it’ll truly be 1Malaysia.

Selamat Hari Merdeka!

Hail the King!

The smell has arrived.

It’s that time of the year in Malaysia when the smell announces the arrival of the king. For the uninitiated (read Caucasian), the fruit attacks the nostrils like some odoriferous fart. In fact, the durian has not been accorded the royal treatment it so rightly deserves by the hotel industry. After 52 years of independence, I think it’s high time the hotels rolled out their red carpets to welcome the king of fruits. Just think of it: the king of fruits is barred from our hotels.

What ignominy!

If this happens in France or some other republics –I can understand– for they have no love for royalty. But this is Malaysia, man, and we Malaysians revere the fruit. And we Malaysians love our king – in fact, we have nine rulers who take turns to be the king every five years. Are our hotels off- limits to our king or Agung? Then, why ban the king of fruits from gracing the hotels?



For the life of me, I just can’t understand how our very own government could allow this affront to our beloved king to continue for so long. Is it because of some colonial hangover that we should protect over-sensitive white noses who simply can’t stand the sweet fragrance of our king- at our expense? Talk about our sovereignty! We can't even take durians into our own hotels!

Huh! - I would like to propose that parliament legislate the law of lese majeste to protect the dignity of this king of fruits. The law of lese majeste could then be used against any hotel owner for barring the king of fruits from their hotel. It could be used for other acts of disrespect like calling the king ‘smelly’, ‘ordoriferous’, ‘pungent’, or likening its smell to ‘damp socks’.

When the law comes into effect, we shall invite Chef Andrew Zimmern (of the Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern TV food documentary) to come to Malaysia and repeat his ‘rotten mushy onion’ remark against our king. We shall then shackle him with durians in the very same durian orchard where he made the offensive remark against our beloved king.

Honestly, I can’t wait for the day when hotels like the Hyatt, Hilton, and Sheraton will open their doors to guests bearing the thorny fruit. It should even be mandatory for doormen to give the durian bearing guest a royal salute – or at least a slight nod as a mark of respect. It should even be de rigueur for durians to be served at hotel buffets or banquets – during the durian runtuh season, of course.

Hail the king!

Reading Keruoac in Redang ?

Off the road.

Here I am in a hummock reading Jack Keruoac's On the Road at Redang Lagoon Resort on Redang Island. Talcum-white sands on sun-kissed beaches, crystal clear turquoise water teeming with marine life; why, even Jack Keruoac is a distraction!

Sorry, Keruoac. I'm putting the book away. I'll have to finish the rest when I get back to the mainland.

Alas, it is only for three days and two nights! That's what the resorts here offer: 3-4 night stays. It's simply not the place for backpackers or independent travelers. You sign up for a package that covers the following: full board and snorkelling trips. Thus, I make full use of my stay, going on organized snorkeling trips and diving just outside the resort.

Okay, Pulau Redang is one of the nine island jewels that form a protected marine park, about 45 km off the east coast state of Terengganu. The other islands are Pulau Lima, Pulau Paku Besar, Pulau Paku Kecil, Pulau Kerengga Kecil, Pulau Kerengga Besar, Pulau Ekor Tebu, Pulau Ling and Pulau Pinang.

To get there, you could take a one-hour flight by AirAsia from the Low Cost Carrier Terminal (LCCT) to Kuala Terengganu and then proceed to Merang Jetty. You could also make an eight-hour road trip by bus or car from Kuala Lumpur via the Karak Highway and the East Coast Highway. The Shahbandar Jetty in Kuala Terengganu town also operates ferries to Redang and the nearby Perhentian Islands. If you are going to stay at the Berjaya Redang Beach Resort, Berjaya Air operates daily flights to Redang from Subang Airport. Berjaya Air also flies from Singapore's Seletar Airport.

Virtual Real Estate

Off the road.

I took an evening off yesterday to listen to Internet Marketer Sunny Tan's enriching talk on how to make a living selling virtual real estate - online, of course! The talk was peppered with useful information on how to create marketable websites, outsourcing, traffic generating, buying and selling websites or blogs.

Organized by Internet Marketing guru Dechen Lau, the monthly talk was held at his business address: Power Success Marketing Sdn. Bhd. No. 3, 2nd Floor, Jalan USJ, Subang, Selangor, Malaysia. Tel: 603-5631 4899.

Spiritual Food, Anyone?

Tuck into your meal in a clean, unpretentious and, if I may add, spiritual ambience for an incredibly rock-bottom price of RM 2.00! Yes, you read right; it's only RM2.00for a plate of rice that comes with three vegetable dishes. For drinks- plain water or Chinese tea- pay 20 sen and it's unlimited free refills.



Yes, that's what they are offering at Four Guang Vegetarian Fast Food in SS 25/23 Taman Mayang.

And why spiritual?

Well, you'll eat amidst the strains of non-stop Buddhist Amitabh chanting, and a tele repeatedly showing a monk giving a dhamma talk.

Spiritual food, anyone?

Take the LRT and get off at the Kelana Jaya station. Then use the pedestrian bridge to cross over to the other side. It's a short walk from there. If you're coming down the LDP from the Sunway toll, turn left into Taman Mayang right after the St. Ignatius Catholic Church.

Walkabout in Kuala Lumpur’s Chinatown

A visit to Kuala Lumpur’s Chinatown in Petaling Street is always worthwhile. The best way to explore the place is by walking. Here’s my record of the sights and sounds of Chinatown:



The thoroughfare along Petaling Street is a haven for bargain hunters who are looking for imitation branded bags, shoes, clothes, watches, and fashion accessories. The rule of the shopping game here is to haggle over the prices.




On the corner of Petaling Street and Jalan Sultan is Kwong Woh Tong, a chain store selling traditional Chinese herbal teas and the popular herbal jelly called Gui Ling Gao. The herbal teas come in two flavours, sweet and bitter. A bowl of the black Gui Ling Gao, which is made from a concoction of herbs and tortoise shell powder, costs between RM7.00 and RM8.00. It is usually served chilled with sugar syrup or honey to sweeten the taste. This black jelly is also reputed to be a detox and helps to relieve the body of its heat.




A stone’s throw from Kwong Woh Tong is the Purple Cane Tea Art Centre. This tea chain store sells mostly teas from China. The highest price tag is RM2,800 for a cake of ten-year-old Red Tea.. The store also sells teapots, reference books, tea drinking accessories, music, snacks, and hampers. If you want to learn the art of preparing and drinking Chinese tea, the store runs various training programs for adults and children. Purple Cane Tea Art Centre is at 11, Ground Floor, Jalan Sultan. (Tel: 603-20311877).


A short walk from the din of Petaling Street is the Old China Café, which occupies the premises of the seven-decade-old guild hall of the Selangor and Federal Territory Laundry Association. From the outside, you see the big bay windows of old.


Step inside, and you’ll be taken back to the past, with portraits of founding members and their descendants displayed on the walls. The shophouse still retains many of its original features such as the swing door and the back door with its wooden bolts.

The Cafe serves Nyonya food, a cuisine of the Peranakan or Straits Chinese, descendants of early Chinese-Malay intermarriages, whose culture is a fascinating hybrid of both traditions. Old China Café is at No.11 Jalan Balai Polis (Tel:603-20725015).

Catch the Putra LRT and get off at the Pasar Seni station.